If you have read my blogs lately then you will know that I am struggling emotionally. Let me get you up to speed.
My life is in New Jersey is awesome. I am in love with the most incredible man in the world. He truly is my rock. I have four amazing children that I love so much. I have a beautiful home and a great job that I truly love. I’m very blessed. For the first time in my life everything has finally come together for me. That is until this fall I got a call that changed my life forever.
My mom fell sick with breast cancer in late fall. She is a bad ass cancer warrior. She has been fighting and doing great. She has run into complications though. And watching her struggle through her battle from afar (she is in Texas) has been difficult.
It’s been increasingly difficult to cope with watching my mom struggle. So I thought I’d seek some professional help. Y
es, I’m a motivator but I have no shame seeking professional help if I think I need it.
I took my fiancé for support. On our first session she looks at me and says, “Why are you here? You have all the answers. You don’t need to be here.” So that was that. I do have the answers. So I’m going to blog through this to find the answers.
As I have struggled between a mixture of happiness and frustration my amazing fiancé said to me last night, Kareen “How are you still creating tomorrow while going through the storm?”
So that is going to be the topic of my blogs the upcoming weeks.
Today I am creating tomorrow by recommitting to my diet. It’s not just because I am at a very unhealthy weight, but because I made a commitment to myself that I need to see through. Yesterday I took some time to myself to draw. And I bought some stuff online to paint. I used to paint as a hobby to relax and I stopped years ago. I decided to take it back up again. Creating tomorrow during the storm takes one step at a time. One decision at a time. And in some cases, you just have to survive your own emotions one hour at a time.
A big shout out to my amazing future hubby for constantly putting life into perspective and holding me accountable in the most respectful and loving way. For the record, I can’t wait to marry him soon. I love you Dan.